Living your truth
Life is full of toxic positivity, and I am no stranger for sure. I like to see life thru a rose colored glass, there are times when it gives me hope or helps me believe, but at what cost? I am all about having the strength the pull yourself up by your bootstraps and get back to life, but the reality is that all we ever really have is REALITY.
That means that you actually have to face what IS your reality. Women are taught from a young age that fairytales exist and that people are good. I could sit here behind the keyboard and pretend that those things are true because I DO believe that once in a while life gives us a miracle and that there are good people out there, as I very much consider myself a “good person”. But as I often say ‘you don’t know until you know’…there is also ‘once you see something, it just can’t be unseen’.
Life is also full of people who are going to use you, for whatever it is that they need in their lives hoping you never catch on or take their privileges away. Relationships are full of problems…mostly from the start; and this goes for every kind of relationship not just the romantic kind. And as it would be so easy for me to stick my head in the clouds and ‘pretend’ just as most do…some things indeed cannot be unseen.
There is a silver lining though (see, my positivity isn’t wasted😉) the best part of actually living in reality is the FREEDOM. The freedom of knowing the truth and accepting it for what it is…is EVERYTHING. We can hide behind our fantasies and pretend that things aren’t the way they are, but it doesn’t make it true. All that leaves us with is the unsettled agony of not living in our own truth.
The world teaches women that everything should look just like this, just like so; if this happens it means this and if that happens it means that. The reason being we have so many unrealistic expectations and so much of our happiness is dependent on other people instead of being dependent of ourselves. This kind of narrow minded thinking leads to a very skewed perception of what life is ACTUALLY like, making it very hard for anyone to really ever find happiness and I assure you, unhappiness spreads like wildfire.
YOU are the answer, to all the questions and you can dream your life into whatever filtered version you want, or you can wake up and realize what life has actually given you while it’s coming right at you. The answer is always going to be YOU. Want your kids to behave better, you have to do the work. Want to get out of debt and live the life of your dreams…it’s you who has to do that work. What about making a marriage work? YOU have to be honest with yourself and your partner. Can you accept them for who they are? Can you love them without changing a single thing? Can you go on with the way things are? Can you sit in your feelings and accept what actually is…that is the first question.
It isn’t until you can make choices about forgiveness and yourself until you can begin to lead a life with honesty. On the outside it may look lonely and cold but I promise the freshness of it all is so settling and yes at times heartbreaking, but overall unbelievably freeing. We must stop putting a bandaid on things that aren’t ever going to heal. We have to stop living our lives in the future, hoping that it will be like that “someday”. The truth is all you have is right now, and what is real and it will remain that way whether you choose to accept it or not.
Live your truth ma, even if it hurts at the moment. Allow yourself the time to feel it…allow yourself the space to let your heart break and know that you are strong enough to recover from it and that it will be worth it.