My Tool Box Runneth Over
You know me, I’m the cheerleader of life…
“Don’t let Covid get you down, just maintain consistency”
“Working out isn’t that hard you just have to put your mind to it”
“Being and antiracist should be a no brainer, just educate yourself”
“You don’t have to hate your ex, remember it’s all about what’s best for the kids”
Well what about when consistency isn’t enough to keep you from feeling completely overwhelemed or finally putting your foot down with your ex is what’s actually best for your kids. What if, no matter how strongly we feel it in our hearts, it is really ‘hard’ to stand up to the bullshit that happens inside our own families.
I know you. I see you. I feel you. I have all the tools. I know what to do.
But what about when we are just too tired and too foggy with everything in or lives to even know where to begin. We’ve packed our toolbox so full of self-help’ary that it’s just too fu*king heavy to carry.
I see it in my clients, I see it in my friends; it’s all hitting everyone a little different. And while I will never throw in the towel and let the weight pull me under, I want you to know that I have heavy days too.
I said a week or so ago “You’ll break your own heart with expectations. Even if they are for yourself” and I wasn’t kidding. Sometimes I find it’s even harder when you DO know what you’re ‘supposed’ to be doing. When you have this goal of where you want your life to be. The goal that I tell you to set for yourself…
But what about when it’s not happening?
What about when work is so busy that it is keeping you from making those healthy dinners that you want your kids to be eating? What about when you are forced to face decades of family drama, when all you really want to do is pretend you don’t know because it’s easier to just ignore it than hold them accountable. You find yourself being short with your kids knowing that their actions are really just a product of your actions.
Sometimes…..it’s. just. too. much.
Well let’s work through this together, shall we? Whenever I am feeling like I am spiraling out of control I know I need to bring some balance back into my life. I know that the only thing that does that for me is meditation. Not just thinking about it, not just putting it on my calendar and saying I’m going to do it…but actually doing it. This will help calm my mind and bring forward what is most important and in need of attention.
We need to remember that we are only human. That while that isn’t an excuse for us to slack off, it is a reminder that perfection is NOT an option. If you asked my best friend what my biggest flaw was she would tell you that it is I am way too hard on myself when it comes to my growth…and possibly every other aspect of my life. While I am FULL of empathy and forgiveness for others, I have zero for myself. This is where my overwhelm starts…because I’m not perfect. Because I do make mistakes, and my life does get off balance and I do struggle, just like everyone else.
I would tell you, it’s okay today is a new day, this hour is a new hour. You can make a new choice at any moment…and all of this is true. But don’t beat yourself up when you are struggling to get your shit together.
A big part of my job is just being someone to hold my clients accountable for their goals, in a completely supportive yet goal driven way. When you don’t have someone cheering you on everyday, reminding you that you CAN do this and that it’s okay when you have bad days, it can be challenging.
Let’s just take a deep breathe, acknowledge that we are aware enough to do what we need to do. That we won’t be perfect at this thing called life, but we commit to always moving forward in our growth, and we will TRY our hardest to limit self slander when we have off days.
Know I am here with you, know I am here to support you and that like you, I am always wobbling around trying to find the balance of my world.