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One Size Does Not Fit All

Okay, so let me be clear…some moms love to volunteer at their kid’s school, they participate and know all the kids’ names. There is nothing wrong with these moms…in fact these moms are superhero’s, we need moms like this.  But what I realized while I was up until midnight last week making cupcakes for a preschool Halloween party is…I am NOT that mom.

I used to try and be that mom; I used to wish that I could walk in my kid’s classroom and NOT have the other parents stare at me like I’m a complete stranger. In their defense, I kind of am. I only make my appearance in the classroom like once a year and I’ll make it as far as the office if they forget something REALLY important like field trip money on deadline or something.


As I was frosting those damn cupcakes I just kept thinking how I should have just stopped at Costco and that’s when I decided; next time I will. Even better thing is I’m not going to feel bad for it either!  I’m tired of feeling guilty because I don’t go on field trips and I’m definitely done feeling bad for not volunteering to sign up for the book fair. I am busy, like REAL busy, and as much as I would love to think I have time to be THAT mom AND the mom I really am…I don’t.



I recently came across an article on Facebook that talked about the ‘I don’t’ list, maybe you saw it. It was amazing! She was talking about the superwoman syndrome and how it is eating us alive. How we all have a list of things we don’t do but that no one talks about them. It’s a great perspective. We all know there is a long list of things that this perfect mom culture has put in the ‘do not discuss’ box. But like all the other things in that box I’m sure we would all feel a whole lot better knowing there are a lot more in attendance at the average mom club.


Here is my ‘I don’t’ list;


I don’t make food for parties  (anymore)

I don’t watch TV

I don’t look at the kids grades online…like hardly ever

I don’t cook dinner every night…maybe like 3 times a week

I don’t make my bed nor do I force the kids to make theirs

I don’t volunteer

I don’t get nearly enough sleep

I don’t worry about germs

I don’t do the tooth fairy thing

I don’t do play dates

I don’t always monitor tech time

I don’t buy birthday presents

I don’t watch my mouth in front of my children

I don’t parallel park (because I don’t know how)


I’m going to take this one step further though, because that’s how this positive mind of mine works and I think it’s important to remember all the things that you ARE doing right as a mother.


I do make sure they get enough sleep

I do expect them to use please and thank you

I do give them vitamins every day

I do have deep conversations with them about important things

I do make time to spend with them individually

I do encourage them to dream a big life

I do take them on trips to explore whats out in this world

I do expect them to treat all humans with kindness

I do help them to grow in the areas they are passionate in vs the areas they resist

I do speak truth to them and expect the same in return

I do try very hard to not judge others

I do monitor what they do with their tech time

I do expect them to be responsible for their homework and grades


What it all comes down to is that you can be a great mom a million different ways. We don’t have to do it all the same way in order for it to work. In fact it’t best to do what’s right for you and your kids, not what’s best for someone else.  It is also good to share stories and not pass judgement, to give perspective but also allow yourself to gain some. We really are in this together. We have created these humans and it is our job to help turn them into good ones. To set a good example and to encourage positive growth in them and also ourselves.


xo cate




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734-639-4559

Ann Arbor, MI

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